Lilac Wine :: a warzone towards haiku

September 18, 2010

That metal chair

Filed under: Text — Tags: — Lilac @ 2:33 pm

You really don’t cry easy, do you?

The trouble with strong women is that when you sound disgusted at us for crying, we stop; and when you put us in a bondage chair and leave us for the night, we sit there and try to take something from the experience.

You would have stayed there all night, wouldn’t you? -Yes, had you not pulled me bodily away.  I’d been in a metal chair with ozone in my mouth, and vomit; you’d said as I struggled to serve you You can’t do this, and left me there. It crushed me. A corner of my lips, laced and hung in your spit, tasted like root beer; it would have seemed disrespectful to wipe this off.

I need to be more disciplined. So I sat there thinking about soldiers going through bootcamp to become stronger men, wondering what I might do with more strength. And I’m not even ready when you pull me off, though I had whined some, and wanted to cry to fill you in on my mental state. I don’t cry tears easy. Not from pain, or apparently even abandonment; the thought of spending a next day exhausted and worn out, in a grey workplace with no recourse or stimulation, had been tormenting me most; I’d suspected you might miss me too, alone in the bedroom.

Kink draws upon my strength and resources in a way that is raw, simple, and thorough. It is very satisfying to walk through hell.


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