Lilac Wine :: a warzone towards haiku

October 13, 2010


Filed under: Text — Tags: — Lilac @ 1:19 am

Experimenting with D/s weight control was liberating.
I was standing in the candy aisle, relieved to not be grabbing at sweets, let go of what I just learned a term for – shenpa. Via Kate Bornstein’s blog I come to one Buddhist nun’s teaching on this. Shenpa, she says, is that sense of getting hooked, this urge to do the habitual thing, to strengthen the habituation, you can feel it, and it’s never new. It always has a familiar taste in the mouth. It has a familiar smell. I know the taste of craving junk food, and under orders, was able to experience the shenpa and then not act it out. This is renunciation, she says, or shenluk.

Submission is like taking yourself off all hooks. You relinquish the urge to move constantly towards comfort, and are no longer hooked into a series of impulses. You ride out pain and restriction, and follow orders you may not want to. This brings some clarity, like that of a set of yoga postures, and it’s wonderful.
Kink is training me to act more thoughtfully & calmly while under pressure.


1 Comment »

  1. Gaining control of the self through learning that one’s base wants, instincts, and desires are in no way binding to the will. Powerful stuff…

    Though as a side note, I don’t think I know a single person who needs to worry about their weight *less* than you.

    Comment by thorn — October 13, 2010 @ 5:48 pm

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