Lilac Wine :: a warzone towards haiku

November 22, 2010

Why I am pro-pornography like I am pro-books

Filed under: Text — Tags: — Lilac @ 7:59 pm

Conventional wisdom says not to learn about sex from porn, but porn excels at creating lust; so I learnt desire from pornography since it was more compelling than anything else around. I had crushes and slept with boys; no matter how sweet, these didn’t elicit the same strength of response. Or, the gist was love and never arousal; though love is high high high on my totem of things, I wouldn’t want to exist without lust. Pornography is powerful. It is riveting, and can be hard to compete with. I don’t think this makes porn the devil, any more than books are the devil for making us question our worlds, or for instilling wanderlust in the comfortable…

Some people are anti-porn because its images are unrealistic, and we can’t all have/be the girls in the pictures, or treat our partners in the idealized manner of a movie. I think: this is as frightened an argument as any call for censorship. Pornography makes us long and want, and it shows us pinnacles of acts or bodies which speak to our blood. Take it in critically, like all things; or at least be critical once the rush of blood has left your head. We can divine the difference between desire and expectation. Each is a valuable reference point, and I think knowing where you stand with each is valuable in forging a satisfying world.

But I don’t think it’s best to dismiss pornography, or fight it offhand. It’s not wrong to admire an idealized form which is difficult to obtain: we admire scholars, artists, mathematicians who achieve hard things through self-torment and denial. Doing this with your body is totally valid as well. It can be done as an art. It can be a struggle. It can be recognition of a vision.

And these things are not bad; just be critical about the sacrifices made, as with any tasking thing.


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