Lilac Wine :: a warzone towards haiku

February 23, 2011

P = F/A

Filed under: Text — Tags: — Lilac @ 2:31 pm

Is it play or real? I am a serious girl. If the stakes aren’t high I don’t care. I don’t want a flogging like a rollercoaster ride; I don’t want rollercoaster fear.

If I do care, I’ll risk isolation and self-destruction in the process of narrowing my vision to match the scope of my desire. It’s beneficial; isolation and pain let me focus.

I’m so good when I’m focused.

I always played tag so seriously, running until I couldn’t breathe. I write with the slowness of a river polishing stone. I stayed up til dawn with graduate-level mathematics. I’ll spend hours taking a single photograph. I bleed and vomit and cry when we play.

If god is a singularity, an impossibility, then the singular and impossible are my icons of god.

I trust you fairly completely, yet I am brought to terror in scene; not of the scene, but of being insufficient for the measure of your brutality and want. It is terrible how hard I will try. Your incantation is always More, and you stand in in those moments for god.


1 Comment »

  1. Thou art good, sister

    Comment by Fistandantilus — March 3, 2011 @ 3:28 pm

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