Lilac Wine :: a warzone towards haiku

February 12, 2012


Filed under: Text — Tags: — Lilac @ 12:05 pm

Kol ha’olam kulo gesher tzar m’od: The whole world is a very narrow bridge and the most important thing is not to be afraid. We sang this at Jew Camp when I was 12 and it has stuck with me.

We build delicate layers of bridges, singing songs and building societies to put space between our lives and the concrete inevitability of death, a void which we are bridging for an indeterminate time. All of these bridges fall apart with a few twists; destitution and obstacle turn a little house on the prairie into a haunt for the lord of the flies. I have seen big brother Death sit with mad eyes, pale blue and cold as ice, and have been afraid. I have seen the fetishized weapons of BDSM, gun and knife, turned back to their original intent in preparation for violence. And the darkness of a blindfold has nothing on the dark of a country night, when you are alone and cold and have scraped your knees.

I miss inhabiting the casual spaces people interact within. I am trying to build them around myself again, cooking meals and lighting candles and calling friends, keeping the dark out and the wolves away.


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