Lilac Wine :: a warzone towards haiku

February 11, 2014

How you hit escape velocity

Filed under: Text — Tags: — Lilac @ 6:50 pm

Be raised in a broken home, emotionally untended after age eleven. Have enough to eat and a warm place to sleep. Grow up through books and The Temporary Autonomous Zone. Know an anarchic liberty of thought. Turn inwards. Theorize and hunger in a vacuum.

Try marijuana and laugh. Try starving, cutting, lulling yourself into oblivion through trance music. Lack a context in which experience, harming none, can be deemed wrong. Try acid and lace the stars together. Discover the infinite varieties of gender, love and sex. Be overwhelmed by how a threesome is a difference of kind, not merely of degree, away from a couple. Dissolve the cultural norms surrounding love and monogamy. Grow.

Know thyself. Build a foundation of love, bravery and honesty. Throw up a scaffold of possibilities: how one may love, make love, be intimate. Mortar together with trusted friends. Trust yourself. Decide at last ‘the risk to remain tight in a bud…’ and that a partner you cannot be naked honest with is no kind of partner, no-one to get naked with. Strike out on your own.

Follow your heart. Allow your lusts. Know there is no shame among consenting adults. Take care of yourself.

Keep at it.

Return from Wonderland. Know now you’re part of the fabric of Wonderland, and can never return. Realize how impossibly fucking transgressive Wonderland is to most people, when to you it is just a broader language for connection.

Feel lonely, sometimes. Try and appreciate the irony. Perpetually try and find the words.

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