Lilac Wine :: a warzone towards haiku

November 24, 2010


Filed under: Text — Tags: , , — Lilac @ 12:45 pm

You ask me to sit straight against shots of electricity to the nipples, forcing me to control physical reaction on a level more base than I’ve been able to. I try not to flinch but haven’t that level of control, though I subdue the reaction. I’m crying in terror at my inability to acquiesce, and at the threatened punishment (electricity to the bare clit).

I fail. You move to my clit…
Just fucking with you. I wasn’t going to.

Why did you ask for electricity? you say in the car. You always react with very strong terror to it.

I offer possible answers. I’ve had such a hard week; thought I might just ride the momentum and keep doing difficult things.

If you need to recover from giving so much of yourself, is giving more the best way? I want to challenge you and make you better, but that doesn’t just come from pushing you. I want you to learn from this.
I tend to fight until wrecked. Like you, I often work by brute force; I’d rather fight my knuckles bloody at the strongest thing I can think of than carve a middle path. Once they’re bloodied and I can’t move my hands, I can rest a little while…


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